serial killer on the loose...

i have killed three fish in less than a week. they all drowned.

creepy guy...

sitting in bridges, working on my laptop, creppy guy staring at me.
don't know what to make of the weird feedback i have been getting from different people. seems like there is so much opposition to certain aspects of my opinion or apporach to ministry but i have never felt so certain about it at the same time. i'm not saying that there are no points of improvment (believe me, i can name them along with you) but i don't think that it is completely wrong all together.
why won't that creepy guy stop looking at me?

the jimmy leg...

i realized that i need to lay off the caffeine after my 4th night of insomnia last night (no doubt caffeine induced). these late night and early mornings are really starting to catch up with me.

when the procrastinating is good...

lamont hasn't eaten since i brought him home on saturday. i am afraid that he's not going to be a long lasting fish. lauren described him as 'dead and sinky' and i tend to agree with her diagnosis. i'm hoping for a fish miracle.

rand-o-mania...

it sounds like my neighbours upstairs are sitting in my room with me because our house is made of paper mache.
our bathroom smells really bad not because of obvious reasons but for a reason we have yet to determine.
today i almost got kicked out of the house because anthony caught me putting the sour milk back in the fridge for someone else to find.
i'm going to attempt to write 2 papers in 2 days, a feat never yet attempted or accomplished.
the snow took me for surprise today and i'm having a little culture shock having to clean off my car before i go anywhere now.
ben kept laughing at me for no apparent reason and i couldn't help but laugh back at him. that kid is a nut job.
tomorrow for a study break i want to go buy a fish.

real world math...

no sleep + early morning meeting + forgotten homework + bad presentation = i need a nap.

a glimpse of glory...

to see someone speak of something they are passionate about is to see into their soul. today i had the great pleasure to hear a friend speak of the work he is doing in international development and it was an extremely sacred experience. God works in such amazing ways through people who are incompetent but willing to make a difference.
i saw such a small piece of the glory of God but am overwhelmed. what would it mean to see it in its fullest?

justifying or defending...

do i justify or defend? do i think of others or only myself? am i self-deprecating for my own selfish ambition or am i sold out for someone else? how do i not compete when every part of me wants to? how can i be? how come you are?

someone else's shoes...

i am absolutely useless right now. my brain can't focus on anything. i have so much work that i know i can do and i even have ideas for what to do for it but i am immobilized and honestly couldn't be bothered to do anything. this always drives me crazy. i leave everything to the last minute because i actually can't do anything but that.
sometimes i wished i was one of those people like diana on degrassi who get the big science assingment done 2 weeks before it is due. i guess if i was one of those people i would be annoying to people like me who are just sitting around killing time because i can't be bothered to actually be productive with my time.

falling behind...

so an entire day has been spent doing the complete opposite than what i had planned to do. it's one of those things were what i did do today means more for the future than what i had planned but the change of plans means more pain in the present.
i had wanted to spend the day going to t.o. to get some books, spend a good 1.5 hours with a friend and a coffee then head home to start on the 2 papers and 2 presentations i have due in the next week or so. instead i ended up going for lunch with the fam and some friends, having a tag along for the trip to the t.o. and the time with my friend (which really changes the dynamics of the whole experience i might add) and now getting home at 8:45pm, full of guilt to do work but having no energy to do it.
i know it is good to put some things as priorities but i just keep getting farther behind on other things. how the hell do i do it all?

moderate-over whelmed...

it's just one of those days when you feel so small in a huge world and you wonder how it will ever work out. it sounds super depressing but i mean it more as a 'i wish everything would stop for a minute so i can catch my breath, grab something to eat and jump back in there' the next two weeks are going to be tricky...

sleep is good...

i woke up this morning and felt like it was the first time i had ever woken up in my life. i can't really explain it all that well but i felt that it had been my first experience of being awake and to be honest, i was somewhat annoyed and just wanted to sleep again.
i'm reading the narnia series and something like that happened in the chapter i read before bed. dreams are so weird that i could take on not just an idea but the feeling of breaking out of a state of unconsciousness.
with powers like these, i could take over the world...

things i hate most #34

sitting in a two hour class with cold wet jeans is definitely not my first choice of things to do.
the weather is crummy and cold and i don't want to leave my bed. thanks to technology i don't have to, until i have to pee.

knuckles, i thought we were friends...

came back to the blog today because i am basically avoiding/procrastinating on the school work right now and was reminded that i declared 2005 the year of cole. didn't really seem to end up to be a year of much if this year of all years was the year of cole. perhaps i will put a hold on 2005 as the year of cole and hold out for 2006.
today i was able to achieve the great feat of making it to the final boss of sega's sonic and knuckles but despite my best efforts (and 5 continues) i was unable to complete the task. i guess that just means i will have to spend another 3 hours tomorrow trying again. the worst part about the loss is that the big 'game over' slides onto the screen, it fades to black and then the stupid sega jingle plays and you are officially burned deeply by its taunts.
oh sonic...one day i will muster up enough thumb dextarity to be able to free your tiny animal friends once and for all.